Although hua hin night sky on december 31th had very few glitter because of the heavy clouds, I still kept looking up there, at it, for hours. Nobody noticed that cause I didn't want any one to. I did't look for HER, but I was looking at her. And she was also looking back at me, at all of us. Count down this year went on as usual. The kids had a lot of fun together. That's right, I guess that's the key word, "together".

The same night a year ago, mom was still with us during the count down. Although she barely had strenght to even talk, it was needless to say if she could stay until midnight. But all the kids were right there with her, next to her bedroom, until long after midnight. And I mean, all of them.

Growing up in her house, like my brothers and I did, is something very special any child could ever ask for. I am very certain that all 8 of them will try to stick together the best they can, and all the good times they have had in her house growing up together, will be, as mom always emphasized it to all of them, the tied that binds them together should any conflict comes in between any of them in the future.

Time flies. All of us who stay behind still do our best to keep our family, "her family" together and move forward the way she would have wanted us to be. And I think we all help each other and do pretty well. There won't be anything close to if she were to be with us. But I think it might be pretty damn close!

Cause in our hearts, she's still here. Her words, her wisdom, her teaching and her love are all around us.

She's counting down with us this year, .... up there, and ... inside all of us.